Building Trust with Classroom Management

I dread terrible professional development. There is nothing worse than having to sit through hours upon hours of useless information.* It was with great trepidation that I went to a conference on Love and Logic. Even the name gives me shivers. There was very little description of what was actually entailed with this session, but we were required to go, and I was not too excited. That changed.

What is it?

The gist of the program is that in management we have two options: (1) fear mongering and punishment, (2) empathy. Seems like a simple choice. Do I want to be a raging Hulk teacher, or do I want to be a calm Dalai Llama/Bl. Mother Teresa hybrid? I want to be the nice guy. We know that, but we always have that nagging feeling in the back of our head that "being nice" will mean students walk over me, so I need to bring some sort of hammer to the classroom management knife fight.

Luckily, empathy doesn't mean "niceness." It doesn't mean I have to sing Kumbaya at the beginning of class. It doesn't mean I have no expectations for the class. What it does mean is I must show care for students and help them to take responsibility in all that they do.

Empathy vs. Punishment

We all have expectations in our classrooms. Maybe we want the class to be so quiet you can hear a pin drop. Maybe you hope that students can work productively in groups for 15 minutes minimum. Something that you may have noticed in your years of teaching is that students at times do not always meet those expectations. What is your gut reaction to that? At the very minimum we might say "Stop doing that" or "Start doing this." At the worst we can tear our students apart: "I can't believe you are doing that!" or lap out the punishments: "Get out now!" Our tone and words vary, but often times we are at the end of our rope, frustrated, and not really ready to treat this student like a human (they actually are human! I researched it and everything). 

The first step in Love and Logic is to turn these moments into opportunities for compassion. A student who is distracted we could ask "It looks like your having trouble with this, can you tell me what's difficult?" Giving the student a chance to respond is no longer a defensive position, but a conversation not a fight.

Enforceable Statements

The next key is turning our wishes, "Don't do that," to enforceable statements, "We can do this, only if this happens." It is not about making consequences so much, but having logical outcomes that put the onus on the student to complete before they can continue participating in the class. What I love about this is classroom expectations are still apparent, but they are made clear to students, and worded in a way that doesn't degrade their dignity, but simply says, "If you want to be a part of what we are doing, this is how you can be ready for that." Here are some of the examples I can think of, off the top of my head.

Wish

1. Wanting a particular student to use an appropriate tone of voice.
2. Major distracting behaviour. 
3. Whole class to listen and pay attention.

Enforceable Statement

1. I can only speak with someone who can speak to me in an acceptable tone.
2. You are welcome to join the class when you can participate while respecting the class's learning.
3. I will start speaking when I have everyone's attention.

Obviously, these cannot simply be canned responses. Obviously some work with particular students and not with others. Number three works great with my class this year; it was abysmal with my class last year. That is the nature of students and teaching in general.

Controls

The last bit of icing on the cake was the conversation on controls. Please do not be mistaken; this does not mean "How can we control kids?" Controls are just like those in an experiment. What variables, do we as a teacher control, in order to motivate, and move our students toward our expectations, hopes and dreams for their lives. This is what sold me on this philosophy because they made great mention how our curriculum is one of our most important controls. One of the greatest classroom management devices is simply GOOD TEACHING! This was affirmed, and has always been my belief. Like all humans, though, even in the best lesson in the world, management struggles arise, and power struggles are never the solution.

I encourage you to think about how you interact with students and management issues. Do you lash out? Do you do nothing? I think both of those answers are wrong. We as teachers do need to teach our students responsibility and how to be citizens, but not by means of punishment, or fear but by restorative empathy. I'd love to hear from you. What are your wishes? How can we turn those into positive enforceable statements?

* It is in those moments I feel most connected to how our students must feel (may that be a reminder to you all).